This week's Gospel lesson is a powerful one. Simon (Peter) had been out fishing with his friends all night and they had not caught anything. Sometime early in the morning, Jesus showed up at Simon's boat and asked him to push out into the water to get a little distance between himself and the crowd. Jesus sat down on Simon's boat and taught the people gathered on the shore - probably for hours - while Simon, doubtlessly tired and frustrated from the previous night's failure, listened.
When I was younger, first as a boy and well into my teen years, my dad and I would go fishing late at night, often with family or a group of friends from our church. I remember nights when we caught a bunch of fish and I remember nights when we barely caught anything. Regardless of the catch, one thing didn't change: by the time we left the water in the small hours of the morning, I was exhausted.
Having been in that state of total exhaustion, I cannot imagine how Simon and the other guys felt when Jesus told them to give it one more try. They had probably been ready for a warm meal and a nap when Jesus arrived on the scene, but now it's been a few hours after that. Their nets were clean and they were ready to go. But despite all the odds, when Jesus tells them to give it one more try, Simon is game. The result is truly a miracle - after catching nothing all night, their midday catch is so large that their nets start to break and their boats cannot contain it.
Simon sees what has happened and starts to put it together. He runs to Jesus and falls to his knees. "Oh Lord, please leave me - I'm too much of a sinner to be around you" (NLT)is all he can say. But Jesus doesn't respond to Simon's objection; Jesus knows it is not really Simon's sinfulness that keeps him from opening his heart. It is fear. I imagine Jesus helping Simon back to his feet and putting an arm on his shoulder while he reassures him, "Don't be afraid."
The call to follow can, at times, seem like more than we are able to handle. Sometimes, the courage needed to follow seems like more than we can muster at the moment. Other times, we feel like Simon Peter, dwelling on our failures or shortcomings. We are afraid that we don't have the strength or the perseverance to see it through and we waver at the enormity of the hope God has placed in our hearts.
Jesus' words to Simon could be relayed just as easily to us today: Do not be afraid. I'm here with you. I'm here for you. Do not be afraid.
The Rev. Dr. Perry M. Pauley
Associate Rector, Christ Church of the Ascension
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